


Catch Me When I Fall

by Kayim



Category: Leverage
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-29
Updated: 2009-07-29
Packaged: 2017-10-04 14:56:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kayim/pseuds/Kayim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not a happy fic. Dark and depressing, but it does take a look at the newfound friendship between Eliot and Nate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catch Me When I Fall

When Eliot looks at Nate – a slight slur to his voice, eyes bloodshot – it's not with pity, like Alec does, or disgust like Sophie, it's with understanding.

Eliot hadn't wanted to participate in Sophie's "intervention", but she had insisted. We have to do this together, she'd said, giving him the smile she usually saves for a mark. He was proud of himself for not caving instantly, but they both knew he would eventually. He hated himself for the betrayal he saw in the other man's eyes. If anyone could understand, he could almost hear Nate say, I thought it would have been you.

And he does understand. That is the hardest part of watching Nate spiral out of control. Eliot's been there himself a time or two, relishing the fact that alcohol can, for a short while at least, take the edge of the memories that constantly burn in his mind. He knows what Nate's been through and he can't blame him for wanting to hide from the pain.

He wonders to himself though if the drink is helping Nate at all. He can only hope for his sake that it does, but he doubts it.

Eliot doesn't drink much, not anymore. He's not willing to risk that much. But here, with his friends, he chances a beer or two. The realization that he actually trusts them came as a shock, but a pleasant one. He's not used to trusting anyone, not even himself sometimes, so he has built up solid barriers between himself and the rest of the world, for their protection as much as his own. For the first time in years, he lets a few of his walls down, relaxing enough to step briefly off his knife edge. No one here is going to attack him, or fling a grenade at him, or slam him into a brick wall hard enough to shatter his arm in four places.

He is just as alert as ever though, still acutely aware of his surroundings, of who is where and what they're doing. He knows that Alec is about to knock over the empty pop bottle as he puts his feet up on the table. He knows that Parker has a padlock in her hand and is absentmindedly locking and unlocking it, while still comparing favourite heist locations with Sophie, who in turn is watching Nate with a pained look in her eyes. He knows, even without looking, that Nate has poured another shot of whiskey into the pop can he's drinking out of and is staring into space, his mind consumed with a million memories.

He wishes he could tell Nate that it would all get better, but he can't. He still wakes at night, drenched in a cold sweat, the smell of burning fresh in his mind and his fingernails embedded deep in the palms of his hands. He could say that the pain eases over time, but Nate can read him well enough to see that lie, no matter how much Eliot may believe it himself.

It won't get better, not for either of them, but as Eliot watches over him - this man who gave him a second chance and the possibility of a family - he fears that the inevitable crash will happen soon.

Nate's eventual downfall will be different to Eliot's. The terror and the pain will be just as bad. The knowledge of the hurt he's caused will still rip him to shreds, but unlike Eliot, he won't be alone.

So Eliot waits, patiently, determined to be there to catch his friend when he falls.


End file.
